i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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