she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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