But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
