also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
A+ Viking dick
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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