im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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