Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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