You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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