NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
