ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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