i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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