Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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