I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
