32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
