Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
