I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
