Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
