she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize