It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize