So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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