Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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