dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize