...so i touched it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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