i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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