wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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