thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
