Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
