just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
