drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
even my farts smell like vagina
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
