Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
