im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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