i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
