remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
