Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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