so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
