Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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