mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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