My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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