i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
