just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
tell me about the eggs
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