Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
