Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
