no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
