I've blown a few things in my day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
