Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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