If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
