My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
