I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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