I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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