Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
