David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
