Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just had sex on a roof
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
