So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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