the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
