Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
