I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
