You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
