oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
