well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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