i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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