Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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