Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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