Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Text me some of your sweat
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
